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Give You a Castle in a Cloud

750 | Natasha Romanova/James "Bucky" Barnes | PG (KB: ageplay/free space)


Notes: Natasha is portrayed as a trans character



“So this isn’t weird?” Natasha murmured. She held herself like someone was going to start laughing, and then they’d reach out and pull her down.

“It’s...different,” James murmured. “I don’t think anything is weird.” He smiled at her. “But I can do this I think. It’s just a tea party, right?”

And that’s how it starts. Once a week, if they have the time, Natasha checks out in front of him. She stops being the assassin he’s known for decades, the street urchin that the men brought in to make into a soft voiced assassin, almost as pretty was he was deadly.

No one had bargained for Natasha; no one could ever bargain for Natasha.

It’s nothing special, he tells himself. There’s a small table that Natasha finds, one that folds up when they aren’t playing. She sets it up the first time, but he does it after that. It feels wrong for her to set up her own safe space, where she can dress in a pretty dress with ribbons.

Tea party is their own code, too, and at first she uses it when she needs, as a way to tell him to set up the pink table and chairs and the tiny china plates. She changes into a pretty white dress with blue ribbons that makes her look... different, softer.

He should think she looks ridiculous, like a china doll, but she looks like his girl. She smiles at him and it’s sweet and shy, and it’s a smile that he never knew her to have. “Can you serve tea today?” she asks, almost all the time, and her voice is almost trilling and soprano. He knows that she’s practiced it, like she’s practiced what she would have sounded like if this had been her childhood.

James tells himself that it’s just for Natasha, and that he doesn’t get anything from it, except the fierce joy of seeing Natasha so happy and settled.

Except he buys her things. He goes out for milk and sees a pink cat in a store window. (It’s name is Katrine and sleeps in their bed when Natasha needs to go to bed little. Little Natasha always wakes up with nightmares, and James can’t bring himself to make her sleep alone anymore.) He buys dolls when he’s out with Steve and pretends that it’s really for charity because he can’t tell Steve her secret. Steve would never understand.

It’s only when he buys her sparkling barrettes, that he starts to admit that maybe this is more to him than just a game that she likes. It terrifies him and he almost doesn’t give her the barrettes at all, but she sees them when she’s helping him unpack the groceries, her eyes wide and her body still.

He almost expects her to go little, to let that last bit of tension go, but she doesn’t. She fingers the sparkling white and blue flowers with two fingers, and it’s all big Natasha when she looks at him, even if her smile is shy. “Do you want me to be little?” Her voice isn’t quite the one he’s used to, but it’s close.

“Only when you need it,” he says, because he wants this to be for her. He helped create her, even if he wasn’t free then, he owes her.

She sucks in a breath and moves close to him, kissing him. “James, I don’t need to do this. I just. I feel safe when I’m little, because I’m little with you. You help me feel safe, and the rest is just... I never got to be a little girl. Even when I was a child.”

He sighs and she kisses him again. “But I want you to like me being your princess, because I like having you as my daddy. I couldn’t have picked anyone better than you.” Her words are so fragile, so careful, that he knows admitting this much is coming close to breaking her.

James nods and he brushes her hair away from her forehead. “I like keeping you safe, baby,” he whispers against her skin. He’s never actually held her when she’s started to go little, and he’s never felt the way the tension fades out before she’s ready to play, but he feels it now.

When he pulls back, Natasha’s smiles is bright and cheery. “Can you put these in my hair now, Daddy?” she asks, and it makes James laugh.

“Sure, princess,” he says and she kisses his cheek, and it’s right, if only for her bright smile.

Date: 2012-11-01 07:13 pm (UTC)
sabinetzin: (marvel - siiiiiiiif)
From: [personal profile] sabinetzin
Awww, this was really sweet.

Date: 2013-01-28 04:21 pm (UTC)
snowynight: An Asian doctor who's also Captain America (Default)
From: [personal profile] snowynight
I love this a lot.

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